The Next Chapter of Joan’s Monarch Wishes. Happy 79th Birthday, Mom!

Today would’ve been Mom’s 79^th birthday. I chose to launch the new Joan’s Monarch Wishes blog today as the next step in our group’s journey to honor Mom’s legacy and bring people together to help encourage, motivate and inspire those living with cancer.  It’s my gift to Mom and to you all. I hope that you will join us on this journey, your heart will be touched by the stories of others that will be shared, and most of all you will be inspired to take action to help others, spread kindness and encourage those who need it the most.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with JMW, let me share a little bit about my Mom, Joan A. Smith, the inspiration behind Joan’s Monarch Wishes. Mom was one of a kind. She was many things to many people- a daughter, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a friend and a fighter. She was loving, kind, sweet, giving, compassionate and selfless (and the list can go on and on and on!). Mom was married to Jim, the love of her life or over 50 years and they had a beautiful life together. Their love, respect and commitment to each other was a true love story in itself- one that would give any Hollywood romance a run for its money!  Mom put her family first always and her greatest life accomplishment was being a mother and Nona (Italian for Grandmother). She was an incredible Mom and best friend who loved her children unconditionally. Above all else, her five grandchildren were her world and life’s greatest joy. They were the cherry on the sundae of life and the ones who gave her the strength and courage to keep fighting to live during her battle with cancer.

Over a six year period Mom fought two separate forms of cancer – stage IV uterine cancer and stage III non-small cell lung cancer. From the moment of her first diagnosis and meeting with her oncologist and friend, Dr. Katherine Economos, she made the decision to stay focused, positive and keep fighting no matter what. She was a fighter and she was strong. She fought a long and at many times, difficult battle with an admirable amount of courage. What an example she set for all of us by never giving up and never losing faith. Up until her final days, Mom reiterated her selfless ways by telling us “it’s better I’m sick than any of my kids or grandchildren.” It’s a known fact that even at the very end Mom WON- the cancer did not get the best of her. Even through her sickness Mom taught us valuable life lessons: life is precious and time is a gift- two things that we will never, ever take for granted. Mom was blessed with the gift of time. She was able to experience and appreciate one last everything with her family whether it be a holiday, birthday, all the seasons and yes, watching the Yankees win one more World Series! Life was good, life was sweet and through the challenging times she never once complained up until the last breath she took. The words from Jim Valvano, the famous college basketball coach, say it best – “Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.”

A short time before Mom passed away I asked her to please send us a sign when she got to Heaven to let us know that she was OK. She laughed and told me that she was going to come back as a butterfly as she motioned the flapping of a butterfly’s wings with her hands as we both laughed aloud. Well, Mom wasn’t kidding! The day of her funeral the biggest, most beautiful monarch butterfly flew past us as we sat at her grave site and softly landed on the mounds of flowers on top of her casket and stayed there the entire time. We all looked at each other in disbelief and instantly knew that it was Mom and she kept her promise to us and more importantly she was fine and still with us all.

Right before the one year anniversary of Mom’s passing I was compelled to “do something” that would honor her legacy and serve as a way to give back to help others battling this horrid disease. The idea came to me one morning (divine intervention) and the seed was planted. I thought about how Mom would receive cards and encouraging words from friends during her illness and how those messages always came at the times when she needed them the most. As fate would have it, with Mom’s help from above, on August 2, 2011, Joan’s Monarch Wishes was formed! The monarch butterfly was chosen as our symbol because it was our personal connection with Mom after she passed and because it’s a symbolic creature that reminds us of new life and the journey that must take place in order to get to bigger and better things. Just like the butterfly, the journey of a person living with cancer is the same-you have to get through the challenging times in order to get to the good.

Since Joan’s Monarch Wishes was formed so many people of all ages living with cancer have been encouraged, loved and supported by our almost 400 volunteers nationwide each month. The cards and personal, handwritten words of encouragement have truly made a difference and are often the best medicine of all. We have celebrated those who are now survivors, remember those who are in a far better place and continue to support those still fighting the good fight. Through this group I have met so many incredible people that have chosen our kindness crusade to pay it forward, recipients who have become volunteers and others who have been inspired to create their own groups and initiatives to help others. Kindness and love are the foundation on which we are built. It often overwhelms me knowing just how much this group has changed people’s lives and hearts, both recipients and volunteers alike. I’ve learned that if you provide people with a platform to give back and do good they want to join you in your efforts. From school aged children, to sports teams to college students to community members gathering together for card making nights to support the patients receiving treatment at local hospitals, we are touching hearts, one card at a time.

Today I took my daughter to see the movie Cinderella. My eyes welled with tears as Cinderella promised her Mom before she died that she would obey her wishes to always be “courageous and kind”. I felt as though it was Mom speaking to me again and giving me a gift on her birthday- a reminder to keep up the good work with Joan’s Monarch Wishes. Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mom. I promise you that I will always do my best to be courageous and kind and continue onward and upwards with growing our group in your name and memory.